Valkyria Chronicles Interlude: A Taste of Home

The second report that we can purchase from Ms. Ellet is called “A Taste of Home”. The report shows an episode between Welkin and Alicia at the garrison during some quiet time.2015-02-25_005582015-02-25_00560Welkin is in his office doing paperwork, when a visitor arrives at the door.2015-02-25_00565He is apparently impressed that Hans found his office all on his own – on the other hand, he is a bit confused when he starts biting in and tugging on his boots. But the penny drops soon, and Welkin gets up and follows the squad’s mascot to the recreation room, where both are greeted by Alicia.2015-02-25_00581As it turns out, Hans was sent by Alicia to get Welkin. One smart pig porcavian we got ourselves. Alicia has had too much free time on her hands, so she occupied the garrison’s kitchen and got a bit crazy…

2015-02-25_005872015-02-25_00591The most important thing about Welkin we can learn here is that he probably never entered a bakery. The second most important thing we learn about is his deep love for, well, bread.
Alicia was actually worried that her baking skills might become a bit stale, pun intended, and as the oven was not in use… 2015-02-25_00596 2015-02-25_00600 2015-02-25_006012015-02-25_00608I somewhat hope that “buns” got lost in translation and turned into “bread”. Otherwise I’d be deeply distressed about the Gallian – or at least Welkin’s – way of eating bread, which seems to be “by the loaf”. Alicia even remarks that he looks like a chipmunk with his stuffed cheeks.2015-02-25_00617…seriously, the total amplitude between well-designed scenes and total and utter bullcrap in this game is gigantic. This is something a layman could say, but someone actually studying biology? Or is he going to run away with his cheeks stuffed to hide the bread somewhere? I mean, it’s perfectly clear what he wants to say, but coming from a bloody biologist and nature freak it feels just ridiculous.

2015-02-25_00619The bread is gone. All of it. Welkin and Hans just ate their way through about twelve LOAVES of bread. I totally agree with Alicia.2015-02-25_00624But she’s really happy to see Welkin enjoying her bread, who’s equally happy that she a) baked it and b) fed it to him.2015-02-25_00630…and akwardness ensures, as Welkin isn’t really sure how to react to this. He tries to get the talking going again by asking her about her work at the bakery before the war.
Alicia, we learn, was a live-in apprentice in Bruhl and plans to take the national exams once the war is over and opens her own bakery. 2015-02-25_00638…seriously, I can’t do a write-up here. Have the whole remaining thing.2015-02-25_00639 2015-02-25_00640 2015-02-25_00641 2015-02-25_00645 2015-02-25_00647 2015-02-25_00648 2015-02-25_00650 2015-02-25_00651 2015-02-25_00652 2015-02-25_00654 2015-02-25_00656 2015-02-25_00657 2015-02-25_00659

The devs’ intention behind this chapter seems clear to me: provide some personal interaction and bonding between Welkin and Alicia.
BUT: having all this revolve around bread makes it… weird. I’ve seen enough weird stuff in my circle of acquaintances to file this under “totally credible interaction”, including Alicia’s bakery-daydream, but then said circle produced stuff that would’ve been rejected by every reality-tv-producer as “implausible”. And seriously… ALL the bread?

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